Don't Cry For Me. I'm Already Dead.

It is true what they say, you never know what you have until it's gone and I learned that the hard way. It's only been two weeks, and I am trying so hard to pull through. The days are much longer now and the nights are so so cold. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I can't even stand being in the same room because I can still feel the presence of what was. My life isn't the same and I feel like I am just going through the motions in these doldrums I've created with my grief.

You taught me how to laugh and cry. I know this may sound a bit cliche, but you helped mold me into the person I am today. You were always there for me when I needed you most. If I could turn back time, I would've shown you that I cared a little more and let you know how truly special you are to me. I never should have yelled at you the way I did and I hope you know I am sorry. I guess I always knew how to push your buttons. (Insert awkward nervous laugh.)

I hope that one day you will come back to me and that we can just pick up where we left off. You know, Gossip Girl starts up again in September. I hear they are picking up in Paris with B and Serena. Nothing would make me happier than to watch it on you like old times. We'll be going on season 4 together if you ever make it back to me. And yes, there is something there to help me get through the lonely nights, but I just want you to know that it's just a temporary fix. It doesn't even compare to you and what we had. You are everything to me and just know that I'm doing everything I can to fix you. I miss your flat screen so much.

And you know what, screw the people who think we have an unhealthy relationship. I didn't know how to love until you came into my life. They don't know what we have. We'll be together again if I have to go through hell and high waters. I knew you were the one from the very moment I saw you sitting there on display for all the world to see. You were always a cheeky little monkey. I knew right then and there that I had to have you. When you finally made it over to my place, you officially made my house a home. 

Please come back to me soon.

I love you, Samsung LCD.

Television: Teacher, Mother, Secret Lover.

For many, autumn brings new beginnings. I mean, sure, it's a little colder and the year is coming to an end, but come on, the Fall is about new starts. The kiddies are headed back to school. Those crazy undergrads are shacking up in the dorms and getting lost in the city. Some freshmen are even taking their first underage sips of beer as we speak. After all, it is the beginning of football season. And although we say bid a sweet adieu to the foliage and the days become shorter, we welcome the brand spanking new seasons of our favorite shows.

Let's go through my personal MUST SEE TV list for the week, shall we?

To get through the doldrums that we call Monday, I like to start off with a little bit of Heroes (8 EST/7 CST), which just had its two-hour premiere today. No spoilers please. I only watched half of it since I had to catch my Upper East Siders on Gossip Girl (9 EST/8 CST). I mean, WWBWD (What Would Blair Waldorf Do)? I couldn't miss their first day of college! Come on! Then I like to top off my night at 9 PM, with a little Rachel Zoe Project (which I'm currently watching right now and decided that I need a huge furry vest. I wonder if I would be able to rock it at work... Andrea?).

Tuesdays are dead to me. Nothing is on. So they can be your free day. Personally, Tuesdays are my gym day and more times than not, my weeknight bar night. Or if I'm feeling crazy, I catch up on my Netflix. Nothing is worth it on Tuesdays unless of course, they decide to have Nip/Tuck's final season then, but we don't have to worry about that until January this just in, the show starts October 14th, which makes it only add to the Wednesday goodness. And sorry guys, 90210 is crap and nothing like the original. I don't know about you, but I like my high school kids played by people well in their 30's. (Luke Perry forever!)
As for Hump Day, I really don't care for anything until 8 PM CST because let's be real all that matters on Wednesday night is Glee. It's is basically the funniest show on TV. And even though I'm hopelessly devoted to Eric Northman, but I have to say, I'm hot for teacher, Will Schuester. He's pretty sexy in the Acafellas episode. Everyone on the show is ridiculously talented, but when you hear Mr. Schuester sing to you, you automatically revert into a twelve-year-old girl at an NSYNC concert again. That's how good he is. (Update: Fox just picked up Glee for a full season. Told you it was that good.)

And what's not on Thursdays? In the prime time slot, it's a total NBC take over. Parks and Recreation at 7:30 PM, followed by The Office and the new show starring Joel McHale, Community. Loves it. But the fun doesn't stop there. You go ahead and put on FX for your double dose of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. I mean, if you're not familiar, it is also known as the best comedy show of all time. There's something about four a-holes that own a bar with Danny DeVito that just equals hilarity. Since that is on at 9 PM CST, it is absolutely necessary to keep the crass going and take a hot second and tune into the encore of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, everyone's guilty pleasure. I don't know about you, but I want to Nene Leakes when I grow up.

Just because the combo of It's Always Sunny and The Real Housewives is just too magnificent, I need to take Friday and Saturday off. After all, I am in my twenties and do like to catch some sort of roof on fire and not allow water to dowse its flame so it burns or whatever the kids say nowadays. But after a long weekend of partying, I like to have a very lazy Sunday with my VH1 reality shows (Tool Academy 2, My Antonio, Real Chance of Love re-runs) in the morning since I know that more likely than not, my television will be dominated by something called football (not that I'm complaining or anything). At night, it's all about HBO's fine evening programming. Maybe I'll catch a little Curb Your Enthusiasm since True Blood is done for the year. And I've been meaning to catch Bored to Death with Jason Schwartzman. It looks interesting, but I could totally be wrong. (Thoughts anyone?)

Elizabeth Lawrence once said that in Autumn "[E]veryone must take time to sit and watch the leaves turn." Little did she know, that we have to take the time to sit and watch tv since we were blessed with an amazing Fall line-up. God bless the boob tube.
And th-th-that's all folks. (Sorry I had to.)

You Know You Love Her. XOXO.

What's the difference between gossip and scandal? So glad you asked... Anyone can commit a minor indiscretion and generate a day's worth of buzz. But in order to birth a true scandal, it requires the right person to be in the wrong place. Take one It Girl on a pedestal. Add a crowd eager to see her fall. And give them a means to knock her down.

She said this. No, she said this. Well, I heard this. Blah. Blah. Blah. There comes a point in every young ladies life where they are reduced to talking about other people behind their back. We call know it's wrong, but its just so damn fun. We thought it would end in high school, but beware, Upper Eastsiders, we are all a victim of gossip at every point in our lives. Come tomorrow, September 14th, our one and only source into scandalous lives is back. Where would we be today without Gossip Girl? (ANSWER: Lost without a void that would never ever properly be filled.)

Let's face it--GIRLS SUCK. Sorry to say it, but it's true. On behalf of my kind, I sincerely apologize. We're mean, catty, sassy, bitchy, back stabbing, manipulative and talk about you behind your back. Every girl has a little bit of Blair Waldorf or Serena van der Woodsen in her. If they don't, then they suck... at life... because they are boring... and no one likes them. Whatever. (Case in point, right?) Between the two, you have B telling us how to look and act (i.e. Louis V peep toes---always right.) and there is S showing us how badly we want to be in the spotlight with her photos always on Page 6. Despite the Queen Bee status of my personal hero, Blair, and the "It"Girl je ne sais quoi possessed by Serena, there is no one more intriguing than G.G. herself.

As girls especially, we LOVE a good gossip fest. That's why we're so into the celeb tabloids and being mean to other girls. (Don't lie. I know you're guilty of it too.) I mean, let's be real, it's totally fun to gossip and talk about people behind their backs with your girlfriends, but taking the information that you have and sending e-blasts to everyone's phone? That's just taking it to another level of awesome. She has the power and I dig the power. People fear her. And there's nothing more powerful than fear. (Insert evil laugh here.)

I've took the liberty of contriving a list of reasons of why we know we love her.

1. Gossip Girl is a mystery and everyone loves a good mystery. No one knows and when you try to find her, she will just make you look like an ass (i.e. the season finale of season 2). She is like an anonymous Gretchen Weiners because she knows anything and everything about everyone. I don't know for sure, but I bet she has big hair and that is the reason why her hair is so big.
2. Remember when they all the grown ups told us that we would stop caring about what we look like and what/who we do on Friday nights? Yeah? Gossip Girl basically proves them wrong. Everyone cares. If you look like crap and/or gained 10 lbs, you're going to be put on blast. When you go home with that gross excuse for a human being that you're to regret in the morning, everyone will make fun of you. But on the other hand, if you look hot and bag Chuck Bass, more power to you. However, no matter how hot they are, do not pay for someone's company on a lonely night (cough NATE ARCHIBALD cough cough). Always look print ready. At the very least, shower... unlike some people. And don't be a slut. The best hookups are free of morning breath and awkward conversation.
   
3. G.G. has minions. What I wouldn't do for minions to do my bidding!? She can make you do whatever she wants since she owns you pretty much. She doesn't even have to go out looking for scandal since people are constantly emailing her and telling her what's up.
4. It's far safer to be feared than loved... and even though we love her, we sure as hell don't want to be on her bad side. Even though we cannot see her, she can crush us because her influence is just that great. (See reason #3.)
   
5. Who doesn't love that Gossip Girl ruins people's lives? Since, I'm mildly evil and want to ruin people's lives, I think that's so cool. She can make everyone love or hate you depending on how she wants to spin it. That's pretty damn sweet. Her e-blasts are just press releases about people's lives and I totally dig that.
6. Every single blast she sends is some sort of witty riddle. She says things like, "Cheer up Little J, the sun will come out tomorrow... even though your boyfriend did today." AND, "Sorry Lonely Boy. Don't say we didn't try to warn you. But if Queen S would do this to D, are any of us safe? Bow down or bow out." You're always making us think, G.G, and laugh at the expense of other people.
7. Her arrogance makes you feel like you feel kind of stupid when you don't get Gossip Girl's witty pop culture references, but when you do you kind of feel good about yourself like a dog who did a trick correctly. She give you a little bit of information at a time and you always want more. She's basically a crack dealer.
   
8. She may be all knowing and a major bitch, but Gossip Girl is kind of a nerd. With all these blasts to your phone. She is a pioneer when it comes to combining blogging with text and picture messages into an HTML format that goes straight to your phone in a non-email way. F! I don't even know how to do that now and pretty sure only the tech savvy nerds of nerds knew how to do that in 2007. I for one applaud her on behalf of the nerds.
   
9. Morgan Freeman, James Earl Jones, Patrick Stewart, Gossip Girl? Hell yes!! Everybody loves a good narration and G.G. is the voice of our generation.
10. If Gossip Girl were real, she would probably be president. :) No explanation needed.

Ahh yes. Power, influence, wit, unnecessary bitchiness... Gossip Girl is everything that I want to be when I grow up.