Call Me Kevin Bacon, I'm One Degree Away From a Murderer

Hi. My name is Kim and I'm a recovering tabloid junkie. This is a problem I can't stop---stemming from the first time I ever laid my eyes on an US Weekly. I get the shakes if I don't get my Perez Hilton fix and I'm addicted to The Superficial. My dream job is to be a snarky/sassy commentator on VH1 like Michael Ian Black and Hal Sparks. Now, my dream has become one step closer to coming true.

I work for a trade publication in this beautiful city that I call home. Along with three fabulous ladies (yes... even you, Megan), I manage all the advertisements that go into every one of our magazines. The day began just like any other--checking my email, making follow up phone calls, chatting away about our favorite tv shows (among other things) and Megan Wants a Millionaire just so happened to be our flavor of the month.

As per usual, I'm call a particular advertiser and everything is peachy keen. It was just another follow up about a proof I had sent out. The secretary tells me that my contact is not available because he is dealing with "heavy issues" and that he will not be back in the office for a while. Because this is just an excuse I hear everyday, I just ask her if she had herself had any feedback. She told me that she didn't and that the owner of the company was really the one I had to wait to speak to, but he now he was dealing with family issues since his son had been all over the news. Of course, I didn't really care; I just wanted to do my job. Then she revealed that his son was RYAN JENKINS!

In case you didn't know, Ryan Jenkins (also known as "The Smooth Operator") was a finalist on Megan Hauserman's reality show, aptly titled, Megan Wants a Millionaire, is a "person of interest" in being charged with the murder of swim suit model, Jasmine Fiore, as of late. There is literally an "international manhunt" for this man. He fled on foot to Canada!! (source 1 source 2)

Out of shock and my own curiousity, all I could respond with was, "Megan Wants a Millionaire Ryan Jenkins?" With what could of been substituted with a "DUH!", the secretary very professionally stated that the owner of the company would not want to speak about it. After she said she would relay my message, I could tell that she was a little relieved and happy that she was able to tell me about the news.

I hung up the phone. How crazy is that? I mean, what are the chances? As far as I know, Megan and I were the only people in the world that watched MWAM and we are basically directly working with this guy's father! I am basically working directly with a murderer's father! He is my client. It is pretty intense and I'm definitely the wrong person to be working with them because I definitely have the biggest mouth in the world, but holy crap. I'm one degree from a murderer VH1.

If this ever gets on Best Week Ever, I would dump--just straight out dump. If only there was some way that I could work with Real and Chance, Bret Michaels, Daisy de la Hoya, and New York...then and ONLY then would my life would be complete.

In other news, Happy Birthday, Dad! Thanks for making me. :)